


The Los Santos Press

by The_Problematic_Blender



Series: "This is going to Hell in a hand basket real fast!" [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Angst, Character Death, M/M, Newspapers, No linear plot, The Stories Are Not In Order
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 10:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4957255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Problematic_Blender/pseuds/The_Problematic_Blender
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Los Santos Press' news articles about the Fake AH Crew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Another Major Death In the FAHC

**Author's Note:**

> The front page news article from The Los Santos Press, the week of October 4th.

Yesterday evening, Fake AH Crew member Gavin David Free was pronounced dead by police officials. He was last seen with Michael Vincent Jones, who found him dead in the bathroom after leaving the apartment to take out the garbage. On the 911 call, Jones was seemingly hysterical.

Operator: 911, what's your emergency?

Jones: Fuck, [unintelligible] Who's this?

Operator: You called 911, what's your emergency?

Jones: Fuck! FUCK!

Operator: Is everything alright? What do you need?

Jones: Uh, can I get Demarais and Marquis?

Operator: You mean detective Demarais and detective Marquis?

Jones: Yeah, yeah. They'll understand.

Operator: Alright, stay on with me, okay?

Jones: Yeah, yeah...

Operator: What is the situation sir?

Jones: He's fucking dead.

Operator: Sir, who's dead?

Jones: Shit, uh, my boyfriend.

Operator: Can you describe the situation?

Jones: [unintelligible]

Operator: Can you repeat that sir?

Jones: Uh, I was going to take out the garbage.

Operator: Go on.

Jones: I- fucking... I came back and he was dead in the bathroom. Fuck.

Operator: It's going to be okay-

Jones: Don't fucking lie to me, it's not going to be okay, my boyfriend is fucking dead!

Operator: I'm sorry sir, but you need to remain calm.

Jones: Fucking shit.

Operator: What's your name sir?

Jones: Fucking... Michael.

Operator: Michael?

Jones: Yeah.

Operator: Okay, can you describe your boyfriend's condition for me?

Jones: He's fucking dead.

Operator: Are you alone with him?

Jones: Yeah, everyone else is out.

Operator: Can you see how he died?

Jones: [Unintelligible]

Operator: Michael can you repeat that?

Jones: Oh God fuck, there's a lot of blood.

Operator: Do you see the source of the blood?

Jones: No, not real- oh god.

Operator: What's wrong?

Jones: [unintelligible]

Operator: Michael is everything alright?

Jones: [unintelligible]

Operator: Can you say that again?

Jones: [Sobbing] He was fucking slashed in the neck.

Operator: Please calm down sir. Do you see anything that could of been used to inflict those wounds?

Jones: [unintelligible]

Operator: Can you repeat that?

Jones: ...No, no. I don't see anything.

Operator: Okay, detectives Demarais and Marquis have arrived.

Jones: Yeah, I hear the alarms.

Operator: Can you open the door for them and show them your boyfriend?

Jones: Yeah, uh, yeah.

Operator: I'm going to let you go, okay?

Jones: Uh huh.

Operator: You try to have a good night, okay?

Jones: Uh, yeah.

Detective Demarais and Detective Marquis, accompanied by Detective Luna and Detective Gibson, were greeted with a truly horrific scene. Free had three slashes on the front of his neck. There was no weapon found.

The crew's reaction to Free's death was a surprise, them all seemingly destroyed by this. Free seemed as the most unliked member, being held in custody the most and for the longest time and often yelled at for a mistake that ends up causing them to be incarcerated. This is the crew's second loss, only prior to the death of Ray Narvaez Jr., the crew's sniper, who lost their life in a firefight with a rival crew.

Investigations still pursue in the death of Free. There is no evidence of self harm, and they have ruled out anyone in the crew from killing him. "I don't know who killed him," Jones says to authorities. "But when I do, they better pray that the police get to them first."


	2. Christmas Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Article from December 28, 2014.

It had started off as a normal day in the police station of the LSPD, that is, until, they stepped into the building. The building's interior was decorated head to toe in Christmas decorations. It would have been fine, except that it was December 26th, and yesterday there was no decorations whatsoever. After three hours of looking for evidence of who decorated the station, detective Luna started laughing, for he found the evidence needed.

Gavin Free, Geoff Ramsey, Michael Jones, and Ray Narvaez Jr. from The Fake AH Crew had taken a picture inside Captain Burns' office and on his desk (left), wearing festive santa hats, and seemingly nothing else, holding up their boxers in the photo, which was thankfully was taken from the waist up. They had tweeted the photo and tagged the LSPD, captioning it as "Wishing a very merry Christmas for the LSPD!"

Sources from inside the LSPD say that Captain Burns has ordered a new desk.


	3. Infamous Crew Has YouTube Channel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An article with an unknown date.

The Fake AH Crew, a team of cunning criminals that commit crimes in exaggerated methods and murder countless people, often called the most intimidating and ruthless crews on the coast.

They have a YouTube channel.

A channel on YouTube called "Not Fake AH" was created a few months ago, and it is one of the most steadily growing channels in YouTube's existence. The channel is seemingly ran by the crew's Gavin Free, and has hundreds of videos already. Some ranging from sloppily edited with poor quality to ones at a strong and steady frame rate and seamlessly cut together. Videos on the channel come in varieties, ranging from Free filming the crew's Ryan Haywood disposing a body to their boss Geoff Ramsey eating cereal for twelve minutes to Free bailing out of an airplane and parachuting down to the ground. Videos are often posted daily.

YouTube has tried innumerable times to take down the channel, or at least, some of the videos, but the efforts prove to be in vain. "It's like [Free] safeguarded it somehow, it is impossible to take down with our computers." says one of the managers at YouTube.

Until YouTube finds a way to take it down, the channel remains thriving, the subscriber count growing at an inhuman rate.

**Author's Note:**

> Slap that Kudos button, it called your mother fat!
> 
> Did I do good? Bad? Evil? Tell me in the comments, it makes my day and I always respond!


End file.
